I haven't been posting much because what I have to say might bore you, especially because I'm trying not to write:

 a) anything too identifying;

b) anything I don't want locals, or people who know me in real life, to know, just in case they've found my blog.

Estranged husband met his new girlfriend in our capital city last November.  It was rather vile to see his silly grin whenever he read a mobile 'phone (cellphone) text from her.  You see, he was still living here for several weeks after meeting her. 

Meanwhile, I'm still on my lonesome, & wondering if I always will be. 

 Once bitten twice shy, so I'm not interested in getting married again. 

What I would like is someone to go places, do things, have some fun, & pleasant experiences with - someone who likes me a whole lot, preferably.

I would prefer that someone to be taller than me, intelligent, kind, interesting, clean and at least somewhat good looking....and please God let him know how to spell?!

I signed up for a dating site, mainly because I thought it would be fun to choose between mens' pictures & profiles (I do like to choose), but instead I feel despair.  Where are the men who _don't_ have something wrong with them?  Did I hear you say "married already"?

Yes, I am more choosy than most people would think a fat woman has a right to be, but having settled so long with someone who wasn't right for me, & being in my 40s now, is it any wonder?

Maybe I should just resign myself to remaining single (& dateless) for the rest of my life?  The trouble is, I'm a real romantic - plus I do like to have company when I go out to have fun.  I like to have someone to share pleasant experiences with.  I feel such a dork travelling on my own, going places on my own.  It feels like something is missing, like most of the potential of the experience eg.

By the way, most men lose their looks & suddenly age after 40!  It's horrible.  I've seen some men in their 40s (on dating sites) who look like they're in their 60s!  Most physically attractive men are much younger than me.  :-(  It makes me really appreciate the men who do still look good in their 40s, whether that be because they don't smoke & drink too much, do eat their vegetables daily (& don't consume too much junk food), exercise a lot, or just because they have good genes.

Yes, looks are important to me - but personality, character, effort, achievements, ambitions, and the way he feels about me and treats me could possibly make up for lack in that department.